Facebook

My computer has been officially put to sleep. It was a Dell Latitude from 2001 and had turned into such a piece of junk that I couldn't even access Facebook without it crashing.


Inability to do any online banking? That's fine.

Can't access the website to submit your work schedule? Ok, that can wait until I am AT work.

Can't log into the website needed to check a credit card balance? Eh, that's ok. While the Good ol' Dell was overheating and crashing, I dialed the 800 number on my credit card and did it by phone.

But once Facebook could no longer be accessed without some major difficulties including freezing, I was in the car and on my way to buy a new Laptop faster than you can say "Windows 2000".
$1220 later, I am the proud owner of some miracle piece of technology that can do things I never dreamed of. It's pretty sad, because you can most likely find me at 1am on the internet, with my iPOD and cell phone perched conveniently next to the keyboard. I am the material girl.

Four+ days without Facebook had me cryin' mama, foaming at the mouth, and muttering something about superPoke! and Flair. Adam wasn't sure what to do with me, so he turned on his PS3 and clicked away to Fallout3. Yeah, he didn't care.

Once I could finally log back into my account (at lightening fast speeds by the way - intel Centrino you are my hero) I had something like 14 requests for various time wasters and 2 friend requests. I clicked on the "14 New Requests!" only to be bombarded by such things as "Throw a Water Balloon!" , "ER scavenger hunt!", "Pass a Drink!", and "Lil' Green Patch". These are all highly educational and productive apps. I, for one, didn't know that there is a drink titled "Dirty Mother". Only on the facebook app "Pass a Drink" can these social necessities be learned.

The stuff they don't teach you in school.

The amount of time I spend on facebook is directly proportional to the number of IQ points I lose. I get dumber with each log on. For example: I can spell intelCentrino without any difficulty but I had to google "necessities" to make sure of it's correct spelling. I'm fairly certain my writing will be at 4th grade level within the next few months. But not to worry, I'm sure there is an app for that too. Or at the very least, a flair button to make fun of my inability to form a sentence.

I also love the selective anonymity of facebook. You can send a request to a long lost friend and use it as a platform for reconnection, or you can secretly search for the ex that scorned you right after high school, only to find out that he is still living in his Mamma's basement and is a proud owner of a 2lb Yorkie that he named Honeyfox.

Ahem.

That's hypothetical of course.