A few of my favorite blogs have been posting about being thankful in everything vs. being thankful for everything. It's easy to be thankful when things go your way, when life is joyous, and you are surrounded by beauty and hope. Everything looks like one big blessing. It's easy to be thankful in situations even when things aren't going your way - you can find the silver lining, make the best of a tough situation. But can you be thankful for the bad situation to begin with? It's much harder to be thankful for something that hurts. Thankful for the negatives. Thankful for death. Thankful for hurt. Thankful for loss. Thankful for sickness, pain, and anguish.
No one says "boy! Am I ever thankful for this cancer diagnosis!"
And while this Thanksgiving finds me healthy, happily married, in a good job with a beautiful home, there are things in this life I am not thankful for. Things, to be perfectly honest, I wish would just disappear. This year has been hard and full of hurt. There are some days - especially in the last year - I have found myself lost in a reverie wishing I could give up, quit the life as I know it, travel someplace beautiful (literally and figuratively), and just spend the days laying on a tropical beach with no responsibilities.
No phones. No stress. No hurt, pain, loss, sadness, disappointment, despair, and worry.
What a picture of perfection that would be. But that's not the way it is.
So.
This Thanksgiving I'm joining some of the other bloggers and sharing some things I am thankful for. But the catch is, they are things I don't feel thankful for, something I carry with me, each day, in this life. Something that was once painful and maybe still is. I encourage everyone to try this too.
I will start.
I am thankful for my completely dysfunctional life, for the emotional pain in 2000, for the loss of Grandparents and family, for the fork in the road of life that was 2004, for the financial difficulties I faced in 2006, for the tears I've shed over the last 11 months, for all the pain from my life that has made me who I am today.
All of these things, as painful and horrible as they have been, have given me strength, wisdom, determination...and hope.
For that, I am thankful.
About Me
- Genesis
- I love to dance, read, write, and work on photography. Spending time with my husband and family is one of the greatest joys I have in life. I've been married since August 26th 2008 which was the best day ever. My dog is fabulous. I work in health care and it never ceases to amaze me how amazing the human body is. Cancer survivors can move me to tears with their optimism and endurance. I have fears I am trying to overcome and personal growth I am trying to achieve. Oh, and hindsight is always 20/20. We make mistakes in this life and learn from it. It's a beautiful day.
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1 comment:
Just found your blog through another blog that I read. I LOVE this blog that you wrote about what you are thankful for! I am actually a cancer survivor and I just revamped my mommy blog! I am going to start a cancer blog as well with stories and letters from my survivors friends!
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