Know

Working in health care is rewarding, hard, scary, and at times, wonderful. At times I feel as though I'm expected to have a magic wand inside my stethoscope, and when I am not able to fix it all?

Sometimes it feels like a failure.

Then again, there are some situations when I wish I didn't know something. I remember one night at work we had a very critical patient in the ICU. We, as a medical team, had done everything we could. But "everything we could" sometimes isn't enough. After the patient passed suddenly despite our efforts, I left the unit to finish some work on another floor. I walked past the waiting room where the family was seated and overheard one close family member speaking into his cell phone.


"Well, it was a bad accident but I think she is going to be ok. I hope that...I don't know. Just pray, ok?"

Sobbing into his cell phone he said "God be near us."

I knew she had passed and I knew the news they were about to receive. I heard the doctor's footsteps behind me, walking towards the waiting room to deliver the words no one wants to hear. As I distanced myself physically, I tried to distance myself mentally as well. The sounds of screams and sobs filled the hallway and I knew what they knew. Life was forever changed for them.

Life would be divided into before and after.





I couldn't help but think that just a few hours prior life was normal for them. Maybe they ate breakfast together and spent that saturday afternoon enjoying the weather or catching up with an old friend. Maybe they laughed as they drove down the road, not realizing that our paths would cross in a way no one wants to imagine. Maybe they discussed their plans for the week as I clocked in for my shift.






Tragedy can touch any of us. I truly believe life is more precious and delicate than most of us realize. And while none of us can fix it all or make anything perfect, I do believe we can take steps to humble ourselves and take nothing for granted.


Life isn't always fair, it's not always just, and at times we are inundated with a downpour of pain. I try to keep that in mind when I encounter someone who is less than *ahem* pleasant.


Later, that same night that I lost my patient, I encountered a family member in another unit that was less than polite with me. Let's face it, I was having a bad night. I felt down and I felt sad. This patient's daughter was rude and abrasive. She swore at me and I could do nothing right.


"If only she knew," I thought.


I left the room to fetch the millionth "petty" request for her. This time I think she had asked for a drinking straw. I had silently asked for a winning lottery ticket.

As I walked down the hall, the nurse stopped me and said "She just found out her mom's cancer is terminal. They are moving her to hospice tomorrow. Here's her new orders."

"If only I knew," I thought.

My approach with her was different, and although she remained verbally abusive and harsh, I knew that she was probably in the middle of her own personal storm and she probably didn't even realize how she was coming across.





What if, whenever you encountered rudness you treated that person as though they were in the middle of unknown pain? If you treated them a little kinder? It's not our place to judge others or seek revenge, but I know when I encounter hostility it's easier for me to be defensive than it is to give kidness. I can't always fix the whole picture, but maybe I can make it look a little better.





When I returned to their room I turned to the daughter and said "I'm so sorry for what you are going through..here's that straw you asked for. If there's anything else I can do just let me know. " With tears in her eyes she said "Thank you...that means a lot to me."



If only we knew.