Broadway

A few years ago, Adam and I lived in NYC while employed by a health care travel company that sends RTs/Nurses/etc out to hospitals, that are short staffed, on a contract basis. We were contracted for 3 months, but later extended it to a full 6 months. I remember arriving in Manhattan and unloading the car behind what would be our home. I also remember stepping inside our borrowed apartment where we would be living the next 6 months. It was fully furnished, but in reality it was a blank slate because I had no memories associated to it. It felt cold and unknown. I felt intimidated by the big city. Like a small animal scurrying among the bulls and the bears.

After unpacking just enough to get settled, and walking to the nearest market for some culinary necessities, we came home and leashed the dog up for a walk. He had spent the first year of his life in Vermont, and the previous few months in New Jersey, so he wasn't prepared for the gauntlet that would be his daily walk. Sherman rode the elevator to the first floor and emerged eagerly into the marble floored lobby. Tugging and yanking he choked through the lobby as his gasps of hurried excitement echoed through the large entry-way. His nails made a "clickity" sound on the floor as his tongue draped out the side of his gaping dog smile. I remember the doors swinging open as a gust of wind greeted us both in the face.

Welcome to New York City.

Sherman clomped down the steps and I immediately tugged him gently to the right so we could join the flow of pedestrian traffic. It was shortly after 6pm, so the streets were very busy. We were housed on Broadway and Wall St., so with that in mind, I'm sure you can picture what it looked like at that time of day. You could see the instant our pup realized that he was in a big new world. He stopped dead in his tracks as people rushed past us, nearly tripping over him and darting around him. He gazed around with wide eyes trying to make sense of it all. He lowered himself to the ground and nearly laid flat as if to say "Stop! Just stop while I figure out what this new life is!"

I feel the exact same way, puppy. I'm with you on this.

I encouraged him to keep walking and slowly he gained the confidence he needed to enjoy his walk at a leisurely pace with his chin held high. And soon enough I felt encouraged too. Sometimes all you need is a gentle tug in the right direction to give you the push you need to keep going.

I remember the night before we left home; I had packed all my things for what would be a minimum of 90 days away from what had been my home for 10 years. I looked around my apartment trying to memorize the color of the wall, the scent that was my home, the feel of the tile under my feet, how my kitchen looked when I was cooking in it, and the lush green trees out my windows. I was memorizing the familiar in anticipation of the unfamiliar.

I was supposed to go to my mom's place that night so she could wish me a "fond farewell" (as she puts it). I still feel guilty about this, but I called her and said I wouldn't be able to make it over, that I had too much to do, so we would have to say a simple "see ya later!" over the phone. She understood and wished me a safe trip, I wished for a stronger character. Truth is, I just couldn't bare to say goodbye to one more person. I had already said so many good-byes to friends and co-workers that I needed a simple "see you later". I needed some routine. I needed to be alone with my fears of the unknown and let my heart break a little bit by myself.

Anyone that knows me very well knows that I am a "Nester". I love being home, I love being close to my family and friends. Once I get comfortable somewhere, I have a very hard time breaking the routine and venturing into the unknown spaces. The whole traveling/contract thing basically fell into our laps. Due to some major issues with our previous employer, we felt that we absolutely had to leave and do the "traveling thing".

It's actually amazing how sometimes life throws you a curve ball and while it seems scary and out of place, it's exactly what you need at that time.

Sometimes we need to fall to get to where we are supposed to be.

I learned so much those months, and I look back at that time as a period of huge growth. I may have started out panicked, but something tugged me in the right direction and gave me the courage to walk leisurely ahead.