Shopper Keeper

I've noticed lately that the space in my walk-in closest is dwindling by the day.

Hello, my name is Genesis and I am a shopaholic.

After being locked out of my own house and waiting for nearly 2 hours in the cold for a locksmith to arrive (see previous post about Season of Giving), I rewarded myself with a new sweater from one of my favorite stores. Yeppers...I rewarded myself with shopping after waiting for a locksmith. This has to be the world's lamest excuse for a shopping trip. Oh, and let's not forget that I got a new sweater for myself and Christmas, at that point, was 6 days away. Shameful.

I feel like I deserved it though....I was cold from being locked out of my home and sore from the Hot Yoga class Allyson talked me into. I didn't know your neck muscles could get sore. I didn't know it was possible for muscles surrounding your ribs to get sore. AND I didn't know sweat could literally run off your forearms and feet. It was nasty and it felt great until I woke up the next day.

I digress.

I can't help that I get down right teary-eyed over a sale at Macy's or that I become absolutely giddy when my husband needs to go to Old Navy for new underwear and socks because it means I can browse the ladies section while waiting for him. I feel like 2 year old that has finally conquered the potty chair, and in exchange receives a handful of Reese's pieces. Sales are MY Reese's Pieces.

So.

Thanks to my addictive behavior to all things that can be worn (don't even get me started on purses or shoes, I may start foaming at the mouth), my closet runneth over. It's reaching maximum density in there. It's quite possible that my husband might suffocate upon entrance one of these days. Drowning via cotton.

I cling to old items for sentimental reasons. I still have the dress I wore to high school graduation. HIGH SCHOOL! And I do believe the straps of the dress are still tied in the exact same spot I had them in on that hot day in June. Wrinkles remain imprinted across the front of the skirt from sitting and listening to speeches anxiously awaiting my diploma. I remember feeling like that day would never arrive and now I find myself wishing it hadn't passed so quickly.

I still have the shirt and shorts I wore on my last day of college. The last day full of smiles and laughter and joy as we, my best friends and classmates, realized we would no longer have to study together, complete projects together and meet for clinical rotations at 6am together. The day we also realized we would never GET to do these things together again. As joyful as I was that day, I was sad too. I was saying goodbye to a part of my life I could never get back even if I wanted to. Sometimes there is a piece of me that would like to relive some of those days over. It wasn't the end, but it was the end of the beginning.

I have my scrubs I wore as a student for my clinical rotations, the dress I wore to college graduation, various outfits from special events and days that I hold near and dear to my heart. As I look around my closet I see clothes, but I also see memories. I see segments of time, places I have been, things I have achieved. People I've met, friendships that have developed, relationships that have grown and some that have fallen apart. And among my memories that flash before me, I see people I wish I could gather up and hold onto. As we move on to new chapters of our lives we inevitably leave some people behind, separated by time and distance.

Going through my closet is like going through a photo album and it really breaks my heart to part with a lot of this stuff. I know there are people out there who need these things WAY more than I do, and I will be donating everything I decide to eliminate. It's just difficult for me to let things go. Things. These things. Why do we hang on to material items? None of this defines who I am. These items are not what is important in life, it's not what really matters. And yet, on some sentimental level they are difficult to part with. Letting these things go is a marker, to me, of how much time has passed. It's a reminder of who I used to be and what I have become.

Time goes by so fast, doesn't it? Do you ever wish you could slow time down or relive a few of your most extraordinary days? I wish I could re-experience some of those exciting moments. This is impossible of course, and that is why I am going to make a better effort at letting go of so much "stuff". I want to live for now, be in the present and not hang onto the days of my past. Besides, isn't that what photographs are for? :) So this week, I will arm myself with several Glad bags with the goal of filling each one for donation. And after I learn to let go, I will be Glad I did! :)

P.S. I might just post a few pics of some before and afters !